The Dead Milkmen had it right....

Life is Shit.

Yeah, so I bet you can guess that things haven't worked out.
I'm not getting to go to the LARP session that is sooo going to rock. No, I guess I should have known it. I just should have known.  I should have realized that life couldn't possibly have been going THAT good for me.

I finished my finals this week (yesterday) and lo and behold Shay called this morning and totally and completely wrecked everything! I swear she's got some kind of mutant-super power that tells her when to do things that will screw up my life the most. Blergh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She's coming to pick me up on the 25th (Tuesday!!) and that's it.
She won't let me stay an extra weekend---the gaming weekend--even though Jean's folks offered to have her brother drive me to Quinlan and take my stuff with us. You'd think --I mean, that saves her hassle, so why not? I swear!

I have to go live with her in Quinlan, and try not to throw myself out of her apartment window. Life is so going to suck. No. Actually, suck doesn't even begin to cover it. Blergh!

I'd actually made good headway on my costume, and my props and for what?
What's the point now? I don't even think I can bring them with me since Shay will be all in my business and poking her nose in everything.

I'm going to bring my books with me, but I guess that'll probably be about it. Maybe...if things get sorted there, when I'm actually in classes--I'll make a friend and I can have Jean send the stuff to her. Meh. I mean how freakin screwed up does that sound? It's like I'm committing some kind of crime and trying to avoid getting caught. How come other kids don't have to deal with this kind of crap?

Why am I sooooo "special"? :{
At least I have a password on my laptop, you know? Or else she'd be reading all of this stuff too. Always nitpicking & finding faults.

So now, I have to start sorting through all the stuff I have here at Jeans and in her attic. I'm gonna have to decide what to take with me and what to tell her to keep or sell on ebay if she can. *sigh* Life really is shit.

Game delay:but it's good news, really!

Next weekend we're not gaming at Jeff's.
Finals start on Monday the 13th and Jean and I need to study. I feel it's kind of pointless--I mean I know that unless things really go wrong (for Shay) I'm going to be sitting in a classroom in New Hampshire come start of the next school year. But Jean wants my help, and she's my best friend, so that's what I've got to do. 

Now the good news (dare I say great news!??) is that Jeff and Carla (from group from Genesee Junction) meshed everything out and we're gonna have a total marathon gaming session on the 28th-29th and part of the 30th!

Like with indoor & outdoor gaming, camping and stuff. That's going to be the highlight of my summer, I'm pretty sure! How awesome, right???

We all had to pop in some money towards it (I had to borrow it from Jean's folks) but I still think that is cool. I mean, wow! We're gonna be totally having fun. One their folks has a place on 10 acres--huge, right? and They let them build their own mini freakin village! How cool?? I am so --well I can't get over how cool that's gotta be. Jeff said he'd email us some pics this week if he gets the chance but he said we'd really love it. And who knows, maybe we can do it more regularly (or ok, while I'm still here anyway?)

Only problem is....I still haven't gotten my costume made for any of it. So I guess while I'm asking Jean questions and drilling her, there's no reason I can't do some sewing. Ugh. Handsewing = tech suck! Maybe I can use her sewing machine while I drill her....except I might end up sewing my fingers if I get distracted--and I'm bound to get distracted. Blergh! Well handsewing is better than not sewing at all I suppose. I don't want to be the only one who's gotta wear one of the splodgy old T-tunics from the borrow bin.

Ok I gotta get my rear in gear and face another day of high school hell. I wonder if Josie & Co. managed to find something else to glue to my locker today?

Blergh! Double Bergh! *where are my cookies?*

Sometimes, the only thing in life worth having is food!
See these?

Jean's mom made them for us last night.
Look good, don't they? (Double dark chocolate...Mmmm!)  She said she did it as a treat for us, what with finals and stuff.

Stuff = Shay calling and making a mess of my life.

She made a dozen brownies. Jean ate 2, and I ate the rest.
Yes, I ate TEN BROWNIES in one night! In front of people (not just in the bathroom, by myself).
I just couldn't stop. They tasted so good, and the eating made me not think so much about all the other horrible crap that's going on. And yea, I'm eating a lot. I know I've gained 8-10 pounds in the last month...I'm not that happy about it, but I guess I'm really not that bothered either, or else I wouldn't keep gorging on food, right?

Randi's noticed and commented which I don't really appreciate. I don't comment when he's got a bad spate of zits so why does he feel free to comment on my weight?

Shay's emailed me 4 times now about making plans to go to Quinlan, and telling me what books she wants me to start studying etc. She called last night and I had to talk to her for about an hour --which sucked because I really wanted to watch Game of Thrones. Totally missed it. :(
Stupid Shay. She always has to mess things up. School, tv... whatever.

Anyway the food is good, and it goes a long way towards making me feel better. I mean, I'm going to miss out on my whole senior year, and graduation. And all the fun things like Senior Skip Day, and the Class picnic at Seabreeze Amusement park. How unfair is that?
Blergh.

Double Blergh is the fact that Jean's been really sneaky lately. I don't know what she's hiding but she's made a few comments that make me think she's up to something. When I ask her about it she just says I'm being paranoid. (Not impossible, but still...). Whatever.

And Josie and Co have been making trouble for me.
This morning was just so totally Blergh-tastic. No brownies left, no candy in my back pack and I get to school to find....a present from Josie. I know she did it since she's been giving me saccharine smiles all morning. The wave and grin in homeroom sealed my certainty. 
I'm sorry, but I really fail to see the humor in crazy gluing a dildo to my locker. How is that funny? It's gross. It's pervy. But it's not really funny. (maybe if someone'd drawn a face on it, or dressed it in some barbie clothes it'd have been sort of funny?) The only funny part was watching Ms.Kaplan notice it and go all ballistic. Ha hah hah! At least I didn't get into trouble.
Blergh.
Gimme some more brownies, please?

Sucktakular Sisters and why I wish I were an Only Child

Update. Ye-ah. You remember those tests?
The ones that Shay "arranged" for me to take re:early graduation/early entry to Quinlan University? Yeah. Those.

Got the results back today. I'm in 4th period (study hall again) and I wish I could just skip the rest of the day. I'd like a chocolate milkshake from Denny's and a Reuben sandwich. And a side of curly fries. And a piece of apple pie. With ice cream. I wonder if I can get Jean to skip 6th period to go for that?

Ok, ok back to the morning's news: 
Mr.Andrews called me to his office during second period and told me they'd had the results and that they were very good (except my math which is only average/low). He kept smiling and being so polite and cheerful about the whole thing. You know, he really thinks I want to graduate early! How dense are guidance counselors? I mean, really!
What he told me is that with the test results in hand, my previous academic record (very good/honor student) that I won't have any problem getting it approved. So great. Just great. Can you see my joy overfloweth? (If there was anti-joy I'm probably oozing that).

I can't be happy about this, even if it does mean I wouldn't have to deal with the bullying here next year...I mean, it might be worse at the university. I heard that a lot of universities and colleges have problems with hazing. I bet if they do that at Quinlan I'll be like prime-a-number-1 target. *sigh*

The only plus is that I don't have to worry so much about next week's Final Exams. I mean, if I passed these tests so well, I probably have most of the material down, right? (aside from math. That crap just goes in one ear and out the other.)

Whatever. Jean told me to look on the bright side--that there are usually more kids into social things and I'll probably find people who want to game & play RPGs with me. I hope she's right. I really do, since I think that, and reading will be the only fun I have there. If I get in.
If. I. Get. In.

Huh. What if despite my grades and all that I don't? Wouldn't that be great? (I mean, in the sense that I could stay here and finish out school? and have a REAL senior year???) I know, the chances are slim. Shay works there, she's probably doing all she can to make it happen.
I just wish she'd stayed out of it. In another year and a half I'd be old enough to be independent and move out. Out of her control. Now...Instead of living hundreds of miles away I'll be in the same town, in the same school. In the same building?

Blergh!
I wish I'd been an only child!

Green mist and dreams

Had the weirdest dream last night.
jhnI guess I might have been doing too much reading. I'll try to describe the dream/what was going on. It was sort of like watching a movie and seeing the actor/character but also sort of being him/her at the same time. Like stereo-existence. Not sure.

I don't know how it started, I just remember parts of it.
It was late, and it was dark and I was walking through a dark alleyway. I guess it was the city, and there was a kid of foggy mist in the air which made the few street lights have a haze around them. It felt dangerous and i was scared although I don't really have a clue why. I heard footsteps echoing on the pavement and although I looked around I couldn't see where they'd have been coming from. Something made me want to run, to flee and I started walking faster, then faster as I heard the footsteps increasing in pace.
I ran around a corner and saw this woman, she looked like maybe she was Amerasian, and she was holding this--thing--I can't really think what it was. it was sort of oblong, and it glowed green--like you'd think toxic waste should be, you know? And there was this thrumming that seemed to come out in pulsing waves from the thing. I could still hear the footsteps coming up behind me but they didn't seem as important as the glowing thing.
The more I stared at it the more important it seemed and there were these smoky, misty tendrils...like the fog in the air was coalescing around it and growing...they seemed to reach out and wrap around me, little points of pain where they touched. I just stood there and the woman was oblivious to me, and I was stuck. like paralyzed by the things. I couldn't hardly see through the haze and I was falling. It seemed to take an eternity but my face hit the ground and even the way the gritty asphalt felt was weird. I heard the footsteps come up beside me but I couldn't see through the mist.

I'm not sure exactly what happened then.
But I saw all sorts of runes glowing in the air brighter green against the darker foggy green of the thing.  They seemed to grow brighter turning almost white in the night and it seemed like they were eating away at the green haze. The thrumming sort of quieted and got less --urgent, I guess. I was still stuck on my side, on the ground. It was cold and I remember feeling damp and uncomfortable and I felt a hand shake my shoulder.

Then I woke up.

Weird, huh?